I happened to stop over by Kelly's blog in the midst of a boring IT training yesterday. She blogs about having an epiphany of sort that opens up a discussion of significant dates in one's life, friendships and the biggest moment of teenage angst...high school.
I believe high school for many is about one of the roughest periods in life. You have a 4 year time frame where you have to figure out: who you are, what you want to be, how do others percieve you, and how to manuveur between what is the norm (acceptable) and deviant (unacceptable) behavior. Please believe me, I really didn't see the difference between the two. To me, high school was all about cliques. Anyone forming a clique fit in. The loners were the ones that were considered deviant. The inability to gather and form a group was unfathomable for me in high school. What is wierd is that I had both legs firmly planted in what others would consider normal and deviant behavior.
During high school, I floated from one clique to another, regardless if you were in band, played football, cheered, a member of a school club (Spanish, French, Student Government, etc.), maybe you hung around the lunch area, or in a classroom kicking it with one of the cool teachers...you would always find me. I was like a chameleon in a sense, I could change who I was per clique I encountered. I would go from group to group in a given school day and literally check in. I was popular to the point that everyone knew who I was, eventhough I couldn't begin to name everyone that knew me. My yearbook had so much writing in it, that I had to reserve pages for people and add extra pages for people to leave untrue statements about how we would always "keep in touch or KIT." LOL!
I was the nerd in school, considered part of the in-crowd and a part of the dregs of society that mothers would warn their children not to hang around; all the while being Re-Re. How in the hell did this work? Unbelieveably life for me in high school was seamless. It all just flowed and I loved it!
I was in gifted classes for children that had been identified to have higher intelligence or had the potential for such intelligence than that of the rest of the student body. In high school, we had what was considered a school within a school. I had all the same high school classes with kids that were all identified gifted. So we were academically segregated, however we had mainstream classes such as art, physical education, etc. So I was a big blooming nerd! At the same time I was on the tennis team (tiny skirt brings lots of attention) and on the track and field team (tiny shorts bring lots of attention as well). So I got to know some of the popular football and basketball players that ran track. They looked quite nice when they broke into a sweat, but golly did they stink to high heaven!
To be honest what helped me to stand out was that I was part of the ethnic minority at my high school. I was damned if that was going to hold me back. I used it to my advantage. No effort needed to be the shining light in a tunnel. Others in my ethnic group decided to stick to each other like glue. They had their own table set up in the lunch area. You could spot them easily.
Meanwhile, I dated gang members and was a part of a tagging crew(a group of teenagers that would spray paint graffiti on walls, buses, buldings, cars, etc). I even sold absent slips to students that had ditched school and did not want their parents to know. All the while I was loved by the school staff (*my high school dean may read this blog--Red, I apologize, but you knew I was not an angel); from the asst. principal down to the custodial staff.
Looking back, I know that if anyone asked me who I was at that time, I would have been unable to answer. I was a little bit of everything...everything was a little bit of me. My conviction during that time was not to allow myself to be pinned down to one clique. I wanted the freedom to move about, whereas those that were solidified within their cliques could not. They were beholden to be loyal to the group. I had no loyalty. This is not to say that I did not have truly lasting friendships. I did, but I think those friends accepted my comings and goings.
My true definition of self did not arrive until college and over the years I have felt it narrow down. I am still a little bit of everything, cause everything interests me. How could have I ever have made the leap to create the chaos which is my life at the moment? I don't change per my environment or because of people I am around. I remain true myself and enjoy the environment for what it is and what it has to offer.
So who were you in high school? Were you able to define yourself, if not when did this occur?
Cheers.
By the way...The Critter has arrived back on American soil, safe and sound without incident!!!
Ok, so here's the story line. Roughly 1 year ago, an amazing woman from South Central Los Angeles decided after receiving her Master's degree to expand her horizons and venture off to London. So over the course of the next couple of years she will hope to bring two continents together through the eloquence of her words...ok that is complete and utter bullshit! Your not doing shit so just stay a minute for the hell of it!
Location: In a London borough not far away from 3 tube lines, England
About me: 1. Lover of all things Chocolate 2. Terrified of Texas flying Tree Roaches 3. New lover of roundabouts 4. The world is my oyster...w/out the fishy smell 5. God, does not like ugly...so rearrange yourself and your face
