Yesterday after work The Critter and I traveled to Southend-on-Sea to visit with a co-worker that is originally from Tennesse. Mary is one of those straight shooters who holds little back and does not have the time to bullshit you. She came out to UK several weeks before I did and went through her own kind of hell trying to get acclimated to a new environment.
Southend-on-Sea is famous for having the loungest pleasure pier in the world with a length of 1.34 miles. The pier has suffered from several disasters with includes fire damage on at least two occasions with the last one happening in October. The Critter and I did not walk the pier but we did walk the Thames shoreline, while looking at shells and bullying a baby crab. We later had dinner close to the water and took the train back home.
On the way back we debated the best way to get back to the house...walk, bus, or taxi. We decided to walk (cheapest of the lot), which meant that we had to venture back into that creepy, horror movieish public path at night (roughly about 9-10pm). I talked The Critter into stopping at a pub on the way to have a quick drink so that I could settle my nerves before walking over the golfcourse and through the path.
Well it was hella hella dark and I could barely see in front of me. I quickly grabbed a hold of the back of The Critter's sweater as he became my guide through the whispering trees that seemed to reached out in attempts to separate me from him. The golf course turned out to be fine, until we came upon the path which looked like a dark hole amongst the treeline. The path only had about 3 ft of uneven walk space and was rocky. Along the way down the path I twisted each of my ankles and did something weird to my knee. On the last ankle-twisting I sceamed out in pain and would have nearly fell to the ground if my skinny friend had not reached out to grab me. During the near fall and in the midst of the pain, I had a knee-jerk reaction and almost bit The Critter on the arm! His sweater saved him from being permanently scarred. You know when you watch a camping scene and someone has broken a leg or an arm and they have to perform some horrendous medical procedure without a sedative, they always give the person something to put in their mouth to clamp down on to deal with the pain. Well, I was going to clamp down on The Critter's arm.
I was able to continue walking and made it through the path. Once we were back on the street I raised both arms in the air and thanked God I had made it through without rolling down the hill or being decapitated, horror movie style. I may be adventurous, but I am scary. I would now like to warn yall that in the future if I twist my ankle, have cramps, or give birth, there is a good possibility that you may be bit. Nothing personal, ok.
British Words Learned:
1. Fortnight- two weeks
2. Bog-off- fuck you
3. Fizzy drink- soda
4. bits- stuff ex. I needs to get my bits out of the way.
Differences:
1. The cigarette packages have different labels that takes up half the length of the pack with different variations of "Smoking Kills." You can also buy cigarettes in 10, 20 or 40 packs.
2. The temperature is not measured in Farhenheit, but in Celsius.
3. Food packaging is slender. We really do things big in the States!
