This has been one of the longest weekends I have experienced in a long time. The Critter came back on Friday from his adventure in Bristol and I tried my best not to dwell on the fact that Monday was coming too quickly.
On Saturday we went out to a club called TALK in Southend. It was a nice club, with a hip decor and some of the men weren't half bad to look at. I garnered attention from at least two guys, but I was wearing my drunk goggles. Needless to say both The Critter and Lynn will have stories to tell about my drunken state. By the time Sunday came around The Critter and I suffered from semi-hangovers. I couldn't deal with sitting around the house so we went on a fruitless mission to develop film from my disposable camera. All day I could hear the clock counting down the hours until he was to leave. Tick, tick, tick, tick...
Today I went to another training for work, thinking that if I called off that I would drive myself crazy with the countdown going off in my head. The Critter was left a list of things to take care of, while I went off to learn how to be safe in the workplace. He came later on that afternoon to pick me up so that he could check in early for his flight. I am the only fool that likes to miss flights.
I held the tears back until we got to the airport. He walked away to purchase cappicinos and the floodgates were released. I told him it was his fault for leaving me alone, before he was supposed to leave me alone. I have always been the one to pack up and leave my friends, which is how I ended up in my current situation. Each one of you has dealt with me leaving in your own way. Some of you pushed me away, some had financial difficulties and could not meet up with me, others tried to remain in contact until the last hours before I had to get on my flight. We all deal with a friend leaving in our own way. No harm...no foul. The pain that I felt today cut so deep on so many different levels. I have enjoyed the time that he was here. He allowed me to forget or at least push aside the thought of this life-changing event. It all came flooding back watching him descend the stairs leading to his plane. The isolation of not being able to talk with so many of you on a regular basis. The fears of not being able to cut it in my current position. The anxiety of of having to acclimate to a new environment. The loss of my security blanket.
He may make light of this post once he reads it, but I thank him for being here for me and standing by my side during this transition. We went through some shite in the course of one month and we came out on top. He asked me before he left how I would rate him supporting me over the last month. I told him that it was about a 8 out of 10. I did not want him to get conceited, however through it all he was actually a 10. They always say that good friends are hard to find. I happy to say that I don't have that problem! So tonight, I sip on a glass of vodka and attempt to fortify myself for the days, months and years to come and am comforted in the knowledge that these feelings of anxiety will soon pass.
TO THE CRITTER!!!!
CHEERS!
