I really can not believe how relaxed I have become over the last couple of days. The anxiety and stress has disappeared. It actually started lessening once I met The Critter at the train station. On Saturday I managed to do a little grocery shopping at a major supermarket in the UK called Tesco's (similar to Wal Mart and yes Wal Mart rears its ugly head in the UK as well). I actually first heard of Tesco's on a blog and I really tripped about being somewhere I had heard of and was finally in. Yes, I know that I am corny, but some of you know that the simple things in life really do bring me joy. Anyways I took a picture of my groceries while I was in line and The Critter took a picture of me standing in front of the building. I know corny, corny, corny.
On Sunday, The Critter and I ventured farther away from our base to go on a mission to find a veterinary clinic. Kate (my landlady) has been feeding feral cats and has managed to accumulate 7 breeding cats that need snipping. So The Critter's job is to take a couple to the vet sometime in the upcoming week. We were told that if we cut through a golf course that it would only take us 15-20 minutes to get to the vet. We thought "no problem it will be a nice walk." BULLSHIT!!!
First off, we had to take a public path that is 3/4 of a mile before the golf course. The damn path looks like a scene out of a fricking horror movie. Yall know the one I am talking about...long, narrow, trees and bushes on either side, rocky, had a steady incline and to top it off the sky was cloudy. The Critter even said that if this was a movie scene that I would have yelled at myself to get the frick out of there. Hell, at one point that fool left me alone for ten minutes to go scout another path. So after the creepy trek through the woods and across the golf course we finally arrived at a street.
(This part of the story may change, because The Critter would like to tell it, but he is not here now. So look out for his version later)
Only problem was that there was a fence separately us...ok I mean me from the street. One of the slates of the fence was missing and the agile Critter could squeeze (did I mention he is hella skinny now) either through the fence or climb over it. Here is the problem. I couldn't squeeze through and when is the last time one of yall seen me climb any damn thing or let alone lift my leg too high of the ground. LOL! It did not make sense to try to walk all the way around the fence, so I became gung-ho about climbing over. There was this nice tree close to the fence and The Critter started demonstrating several ways I could climb the fence by leveraging myself on the tree. I kept looking at him like he had lost his mind!
Skinny folks always have bright ideas that a plump person can do all the same shit as them. There was no way that any of his ways were going to get me over the fence safely. I kept envisioning my body ungracefully hitting the ground. The way I felt would be best is similar to being on a playground and using a bar to swing forward on. I really can't describe what I looked like well enough...maybe The Critter can do a better job. He felt that I was going to crack my skull open. So midway through my way I had to change my idea because I could not get enough momentuum to swing forward (LOL!!). I ended up on top of the fence screaming for The Critter to stop moving around and to stand in spot determined by me so that I could use his shoulders to brace myself as I put each foot on the ground. I am mad that I did not receive applause for my prowess from the passerbys, instead they laughed at me. The jacked up part was that The Critter looked like he was going to cry from laughing so hard at me. I did receive props for climbing the fence, however on the way back we walked around the fence. Oh yeah the trip to the vet took a roundtrip total of two hours not including us stopping at a local pub to celebrate me climbing a fence.
On Monday...First day at work
I went to work and did nothing but read about laws and policies/procedures while trying not to fall asleep.
ShoutOuts:
I loved thefact that Ms. Corinna went through hell and high water to get me on the phone and check on how I was doing. This is after I emailed her my number to an old email address and she had to call information to figure out how to call me. She had more of a conversation with The Critter than with me ( I was in the shower), but who cares, at least I got to hear her voice and learn that she has been running a muck in my absence.
***Ms. Corinna is one of my oldest friends (10 yrs this yr) that has turned into being a sister more than a friend. She is also one of the only people that I can talk to about all the stuff people in friendships rarely speak of for fear that it is too personal. I love her for that. I also loved how much she has grown as a person and become more open-minded over the years to different things. She is the BOMB!
British Words Learned:
1. Buggery- anal sex, getting it up the bum
2. Pence- same as cents
3. Pounds- same as dollars
Differences:
1. Obvious one... they drive on the other side of thestreet and their steering wheels are on the right-side of the car.
2. Instead of just having a penny, they also have 2 pence coin.
3. Gas is measured in liters not gallons and it cost 95p for one liter. Yall Americans need to stop complaining about gas prices!
4. You have to pay a tax in order to watch television in your home.
Ok, so here's the story line. Roughly 1 year ago, an amazing woman from South Central Los Angeles decided after receiving her Master's degree to expand her horizons and venture off to London. So over the course of the next couple of years she will hope to bring two continents together through the eloquence of her words...ok that is complete and utter bullshit! Your not doing shit so just stay a minute for the hell of it!
Location: In a London borough not far away from 3 tube lines, England
About me: 1. Lover of all things Chocolate 2. Terrified of Texas flying Tree Roaches 3. New lover of roundabouts 4. The world is my oyster...w/out the fishy smell 5. God, does not like ugly...so rearrange yourself and your face
